Gift of Tears 1st Edition by Susan Lendrum – Ebook PDF Instant Download/Delivery: 1583919333, 9781583919330
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Product details:
ISBN 10: 1583919333
ISBN 13: 9781583919330
Author: Susan Lendrum
Gift of Tears 1st Table of contents:
Part I Loss and nurture
1. Early attachments and loss
Natural or necessary losses
Some studies of attachment behaviour
Quality of attachment
Attunement and psychoneurobiology
Secure attachment
Short separation
Longer separation
Insecure attachment
Summary
2. Adult attachment patterns
Early separations and losses
Summary
3. The nurturing environment
Aspects of the counselling approach
Summary
Part II Death as a particular form of loss
4. Experiences of death and bereavement
Circumstantial losses
Summary
5. The effect of external circumstances and internal factors on the experience of bereavement
External determining circumstances
Internal factors
Summary
6. Historical change in attitudes to death and bereavement
Summary
7. Cultural variety
The value of mourning
Mourning in different cultural and religious groups
Judaism
Christianity
Islam
Hinduism
Sikhism
Buddhism
Humanists and non-affiliated groups
General considerations
Summary
8. Children’s grief ‘Gift of tears’
0–2 years
2–5 years
5–8 years
8–1 2 years
Adolescence
Summary
9. Personal and family experiences of loss
Drawing your own lifeline
Summary
Part III Working with the grieving
10. Basic loss counselling skills ‘Give sorrow words’
Active listening and distractions
External distractions
Distractions in your own behaviour
Attitudinal distractions
Distractions in your feelings
Skill of reflecting experience and feelings
Skill of reflecting using different levels of empathy
Example of empathy levels
Summary
11. Tasks of mourning Meaning and Internalisation
The tasks
To accept the reality of the loss
To experience the pain of grief
To adapt to a world in which the deceased is missing
To emotionally relocate the deceased and move on with life
The development of continuing bonds
The process of adaptation
Narrative creation
The development and maintenance of continuing bonds
Summary
12. Further skills related to the tasks of mourning and ending counselling
Setting limits or boundaries
Beginnings: sessions and relationships
First session of a new counselling relationship
Possible openings
The grief emerges into an already established professional relationship
The grief erupts into the start of a session in established counselling
Endings: sessions and relationships
Session endings
Ending the relationship
Time-limited counselling
Normalising disturbing experiences
Hallucinations
‘Irrational’ behaviour
Understanding dreams
‘Irrational’ beliefs
Persistent thoughts or images
Summary
13. Ways of helping children
Immediacy about information and feelings
When feelings get lost
The use of drawing
The ‘faces game’
The use of sound and stories
The ‘boxes’ game
The use of drama, play and music
Techniques to explore relationships
When information is lacking
Maintaining links
Further considerations
Summary
Part IV Anger and guilt
14. Understanding anger and guilt
Origins of anger and guilt
Uncomplicated anger and guilt in grieving
Complicated anger and guilt in grieving
Summary
15. Working with anger and guilt in more complicated grief
The ‘stuck’ patterns
1 Idealisation as a protection against anger or guilt
How the pattern functions
Counsellor’s feelings and dilemmas
Counsellor’s responses
Counsellor’s difficulties
2 Vilification as a protection against pain and underlying love
How the pattern functions
Counsellor’s feelings and dilemmas
Counsellor’s responses
Counsellor’s difficulties
3 Anger as a protection against intimacy and underlying despair
How the pattern functions
Counsellor’s feelings and dilemmas
Counsellor’s responses
Counsellor’s difficulties
4 Depression as a protection against intense feelings
Martha
How the pattern functions
Counsellor’s feelings and dilemmas
Counsellor’s responses
Counsellor’s difficulties
Peter
How the pattern functions
Counsellor’s feelings and dilemmas
Counsellor’s responses
Counsellor’s difficulties
5 Suicidal thoughts as a fantasy of release from pain and despair
How the pattern functions
Counsellor’s feelings and dilemmas
Counsellor’s responses
Counsellor’s difficulties
Drawing together the threads
Summary
Part V Professional implications
16. Necessary consultation for complicated grief
‘Swamped by feelings’
‘Feeling cut out’
Other areas in which consultation may be required
Sexual abuse in childhood
Suicidal intent or serious suicidal thoughts
Somatisation: ‘weeping through the body’
Behavioural messages
Client behaviour within the counselling relationship
Silence
Persistent lateness
Medication
Summary
17. Assessment and referral
Assessment skills
Referral skills
Reasons for immediate referral
Reasons for later referral
Timing of referrals
Method of referral
Early stage referral
Later stage referral
Summary
18. Supervision
Functions of supervision
The restorative function
The formative function
The normative function
The interweaving of supervisory functions
Uses of feelings
The counsellor’s feelings
Use of counsellor’s feelings to locate denied feelings in the client
Use of counsellor’s feelings to recognise the counsellor’s need
Reflected feelings in the parallel process
Use of the supervisor’s feelings
Supervision for the unexpected
The value of supervision
Summary
19. Epilogue
Appendix A Useful Resources
Appendix B Useful websites
Appendix C Furthur Reading
Appendix D Multimedia
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