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Ariel Crashes a Train 1st Edition by Olivia A Cole ISBN 0593644662 9780593644669

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    Author(s): Olivia A. Cole
    ISBN(s): 9780593644669, 0593644662
    Edition: 1st
    File Details: PDF, 6.19 MB
    Year: 2024
    Language: english
    SKU: EB-56910944 Category: Tag:

      Ariel Crashes a Train 1st Edition by Olivia A Cole – Ebook PDF Instant Download/Delivery: 0593644662, 9780593644669
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      ISBN 10: 0593644662 
      ISBN 13: 9780593644669
      Author: Olivia A Cole

      LONGLISTED FOR THE NATIONAL BOOK AWARD • A COSMOPOLITAN BEST YA BOOK OF THE YEAR • A PUBLISHERS WEEKLY, SCHOOL LIBRARY JOURNAL, BOOKLIST AND KIRKUS REVIEWS BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR Exploring the harsh reality of OCD and violent intrusive thoughts in stunning, lyrical writing, this novel-in-verse conjures a haunting yet hopeful portrait of a girl on the edge. “A gorgeously kind, wonderfully gentle, and unfailingly compassionate depiction of OCD…bursting with light.” —Ashley Woodfolk, critically acclaimed author of NOTHING BURNS AS BRIGHT AS YOU Ariel is afraid of her own mind. She already feels like she is too big, too queer, too rough to live up to her parents’ exacting expectations, or to fit into what the world expects of a “good girl.” And as violent fantasies she can’t control take over every aspect of her life, she is convinced something much deeper is wrong with her. Ever since her older sister escaped to college, Ariel isn’t sure if her careful rituals and practiced distance will be enough to keep those around her safe anymore.  Then a summer job at a carnival brings new friends into Ariel’s fractured world , and she finds herself questioning her desire to keep everyone out—of her head and her heart. But if they knew what she was really thinking, they would run in the other direction—right? Instead, with help and support, Ariel discovers a future where she can be at home in her mind and body, and for the first time learns there’s a name for what she struggles with—Obsessive Compulsive Disorder—and that she’s not broken, and not alone.

      Ariel Crashes a Train 1st Table of contents:

      1. Dedication
      2. I Have To.
      3. I’m Going to Try One More Time.
      4. Meeting Leah Should Feel Like Comfort—
      5. I Don’t Do It on Purpose.
      6. It’s Like My Brain Is a Stage Magician’s Hat
      7. “What Are You Thinking About?”
      8. How Do I Explain
      9. Leah Knows All My Other Secrets
      10. Leah Is Losing Patience Because I Am Lost in My Head
      11. “What About Wildwood?”
      12. There’s Nothing More Embarrassing
      13. At Home My Dad Has Left His Credit Card on the Counter
      14. Sometimes I Forget We Ever Went to Church
      15. I Don’t Remember the Last Day of Church
      16. I Order Indian Food Instead of Pizza.
      17. There’s Always Leftovers with Indian Food
      18. Nine
      19. Mandy Blamed Church
      20. Watching Tv and All the Cartoon Dogs Wear Makeup
      21. Before Going Upstairs
      22. Sometimes When I Get Lost
      23. Maybe a Little Easier If You Have a Mom or an Aunt
      24. I Am Off-Script
      25. I Don’t Start Work Until Monday
      26. When Mandy Calls, She Already Knows
      27. The Worst Part of Mandy Being Gone
      28. On the Rare Occasion My Parents Invite Me Out
      29. I Think Everyone My Age Is Embarrassed of Their Parents
      30. And Then There’s the Bible Verses.
      31. Mandy Always Understands
      32. Things I Don’t Tell Mandy: A List
      33. Babies
      34. Lately I Can’t Think
      35. Sex Feels Like a Curtain
      36. Thoughts About Virginity
      37. The First Girl I Felt Like That About
      38. I Wake Up to a Text from Leah
      39. Mandy Won’t Be Home for the Summer
      40. I Always Think of My Grandmother When I Put on My Shoes.
      41. Thoughts About Smallness
      42. Day 1 at Wildwood
      43. If I’m a Carnival Beast, Then Ms. Megga Is the Strong Woman.
      44. I Used to Be Stronger.
      45. “You Look Like a Guy”
      46. Megga Has Just Begun Catching Me Up
      47. I Keep Staring at Her
      48. The Girl’s Name Is Ruth
      49. At Midnight I Flip Through My Sketchbook
      50. I Look at the Faces
      51. It’s Like a Diet,
      52. All the Articles About Serial Killers
      53. I Watch Videos Until I Pass Out
      54. Case in Point:
      55. What Is It About Acne
      56. Men Only Hit on Me When I’m Sitting Down
      57. My iPhone Won’t Let Me Forget
      58. I’m Running the Ferris Wheel
      59. Texts with My Sister
      60. Parents Set Themselves Up for Failure
      61. There Are Always Groups of Boys at Wildwood
      62. Three Hours Working the Ferris Wheel
      63. In the Afternoon I’m Practicing Faces Again
      64. “What About Me?”
      65. When I Draw Ruth
      66. “You’re Good”
      67. What Is It About a Carnival
      68. Something About Me Being Tall Brings Out the Venom in Men.
      69. Summer Nights Are Endless and Empty
      70. In Regular Theaters, They Care If You Break Your Neck:
      71. Another Reason
      72. Joke’s on Me.
      73. The Bathroom at Fine 5 Is Out of a Horror Movie Too
      74. Walking Past the Dojo
      75. I Stay Up Until 4am Googling Serial Killers.
      76. No, I’m Something Else
      77. I
      78. One Thing I’ve Learned from Seeing So Many Movies
      79. First Night Shift of the Summer
      80. Wildwood Is Full of Screaming
      81. “Are You Okay?”
      82. Sometimes I Can Feel It Gathering
      83. I Don’t Want to Text Mandy
      84. Something About Mandy Makes It Worse
      85. I Hadn’t Considered the Six Miles Home at Night.
      86. Ruth Is Working the Dart Toss
      87. Ruth Steers the Car Through Taco Bell’s Drive-Thru
      88. I Wasn’t Always Like This.
      89. The River Looks Like Oil in the Night
      90. Ruth and Rex Have a Way
      91. Even with Lettuce Stuck in Her Teeth
      92. Up Close, Rex Has Eyes Like a Turtle’s Shell—
      93. Ruth Drives Us Home
      94. Just Me and Ruth
      95. I’m Not/Never Ready to Go Home
      96. I Walk the Three Miles
      97. I’ve Gotten All the Mermaid Jokes.
      98. I Can’t Stay in Bed.
      99. I’ve Only Ever Had One Boyfriend—
      100. “No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent”
      101. Back in the Cave of My Room
      102. Except Felicia Palmer
      103. When I Get to Wildwood in the Morning
      104. Reunited with My Phone
      105. I Am Seventeen Years Old
      106. Text to Mandy
      107. In the Pit of My Stomach
      108. The Loco Locomotive Is the Scariest Ride in the Park
      109. Carnival Time
      110. It’s Five Minutes Until the End of My Shift When It Happens:
      111. I Have a License but I Don’t Drive
      112. Three Trailers Make a Triangle
      113. But What If
      114. I Have a Memory That Stays with Me
      115. Waiting on the Hood of Ruth’s Car
      116. Ruth’s Car Is Not Ruth’s Car
      117. So He Does.
      118. “That’s My Dad.”
      119. My Dad Has Done Karate for as Long as I Can Remember.
      120. “Your Dad Is Karate Kev?!”
      121. Ruth Likes to Drive.
      122. Ruth Wants to Be an Actress
      123. “Stories,” I Say
      124. Envy
      125. “How Do You Know You’re a Girl?”
      126. Saying Good Night Feels Like the End of Dancing—
      127. My Phone Interrupts My 120th Circle
      128. My Phone Feels Hot in My Hands
      129. Social Media Can Be a Rabbit Hole
      130. Thoughts About Magic
      131. Sweat Is One Thing That Has Always Made Me Feel Human
      132. Texts with Mandy in the Morning
      133. I Know the Word Gentrification
      134. My Sister’s Bedside Table
      135. “College Essay Ideas”
      136. Well, Shit.
      137. The Crocodile Got Mandy into College.
      138. I Remember Church
      139. Performance
      140. Whenever I’m Getting Dressed
      141. The Only Thing That Could Make This Morning Worse Is My Parents
      142. “How Is Leah?”
      143. “Can You Bring Up the Groceries Before You Leave?”
      144. “What Happened to Your Foot?”
      145. I Wear a Size 12
      146. Before My Grandmother Died, She Called Me a Late Bloomer.
      147. I Want to Call Mandy and I Can’t
      148. Thoughts About Lycra
      149. When You Clock in at Wildwood
      150. This Is the Part Where I’d Call Mandy.
      151. Leah Likes to Drink at Parties
      152. Not a Good Idea
      153. What Did I Do?
      154. Someone Is Calling My Name
      155. I Can Feel My Feet Bleeding.
      156. There Was a Park Where I Used to Go with Leah
      157. And Being in Love, I Was the First to Notice.
      158. Somehow I End Up at That Park
      159. I Run Away from Myself.
      160. I End Up on the Bridge
      161. I Don’t Know If I Was Going to Jump—
      162. “Were You Going to Jump?”
      163. Memory: Learning Volcanoes
      164. I’m Bigger Than Rex
      165. “You Have to Tell Us.”
      166. I Speak the Language of What-If—
      167. Ruth Answers
      168. “Your Sister Needs Help.”
      169. I’ve Seen Enough Movies to Know
      170. I Know Better Than Most
      171. They Must Have Carried Me.
      172. She Says a Lot of Things
      173. Who Is We?
      174. “You Have OCD, Ariel.”
      175. How
      176. “Ariel Has Intrusive Thoughts.”
      177. We’re Sitting at the Picnic Table as If at a Business Meeting Now
      178. “I’m Sorry, Ariel.”
      179. When Mandy Hangs Up
      180. Backseat Googling
      181. Too Late—the House Is Burning.
      182. “When Is the Last Time You Prayed?”
      183. How Do I Say
      184. Even My Mother Looks Doubtful
      185. Later, When Mandy Calls
      186. Obsessive-Compulsive
      187. Memory: Felicia Palmer
      188. My Father Is the Only One Who Prays Before Meals
      189. The Doorbell Interrupts Circle 256
      190. Rex Is on My Front Porch
      191. I Don’t Know What I Expected.
      192. We Live Inside Our Heads.
      193. “What Your Sister Said Is Funny”
      194. He Looks at Me Then, Stops Chewing.
      195. No, I Don’t.
      196. “I Had a Brother.”
      197. He Tells Me the Rest in My Room.
      198. I’ve Seen Headlines Like Richard’s
      199. In the Quiet of My Room
      200. I Am a Mannequin Filled with Blood.
      201. Text from Ruth
      202. An Apology from Ruth
      203. Texts from Mandy
      204. “How Did You Get So Close?”
      205. The Truth Isn’t Magic, It’s Terror.
      206. Texts with Mandy After We Hang Up
      207. When Mandy Goes to Sleep, I Think About the Night
      208. “I’ve Decided It’s Reward and Punishment,”
      209. I Told Ruth I Understood
      210. Long Silence
      211. Still Awake, Thinking About Weapons.
      212. They Started Demolition on a House Down the Street
      213. Underarms in Some Advertisements Have Hair
      214. Also from Where I Stand
      215. And Therefore Manhood
      216. I’m Starting to Think It’s Like Ruth Said
      217. Texts with Rex
      218. I Carry the Target Bags
      219. The Next Morning, My Father Is in the Kitchen.
      220. My Mother’s Watching Tennis
      221. This Is What Ruth Meant
      222. I’m Interested in All the Things People Don’t Say
      223. What Is My Ball of Yarn?
      224. I Walk to Fine 5.
      225. When Harry Met Sally
      226. The Credits Have Only Begun to Run
      227. His Girlfriend/Wife/Friend Is Kind
      228. A Text from Leah While I Was in the Movie
      229. I Walk to Wildwood
      230. Memory: In Eighth Grade
      231. Wildwood Is Slower Today
      232. I’m Early
      233. Since Jason Got Fired
      234. While I Walk, I Count
      235. Thinking of Leah
      236. Google Is My Frenemy.
      237. “Are You Clocking in or What, Young Lady?”
      238. I’m Assigned to the Loco Locomotive.
      239. One Thing This Crocodile Hasn’t Taken from Me
      240. Ms. Linda Isn’t at Work Today
      241. Ruth Has Her Hands Out
      242. “Remember What Your Sister Said?”
      243. Rex in My Ear
      244. “Everything Is Fine”
      245. Ruth, I Have Seen Blood Spilling from the Corner of Your Perfect Lips
      246. Ruth Stares at Me a Long Time.
      247. “Where We Going?”
      248. We Leave It All Behind.
      249. Do You Remember Being Happy?
      250. “You Don’t Have to Be Like This”
      251. “But How?”
      252. Rex Calls Mandy from My Phone
      253. Mandy Says a Lot of Things
      254. The List
      255. Memory: In Elementary School
      256. While We Drive, Ruth Tells Us the Plot of Her New Script
      257. But What If…
      258. What If
      259. I Keep That to Myself
      260. OCD Is the Doubting Disease
      261. Texts with Mandy
      262. “Deserve” Is a Loaded Term
      263. “Can’t We Start Tomorrow?”
      264. Panic
      265. Just Like That, I Fail. We Go to the Drive-in.
      266. Memory: The First Time I Saw Felicia Palmer
      267. Texts with Mandy
      268. What I Don’t Say:
      269. What I Don’t Say: Part 2
      270. Group Text
      271. Less Group Text, and More
      272. “Ariel Why Are You So Quiet? Ariel What’s on Your Mind?”
      273. Things I Would Like to Say to Ruth but Never Will
      274. Mandy Calls
      275. Texts to Leah I Never Send
      276. Texts to Leah I Do Send
      277. Shorter Is Safer
      278. This House Sucks.
      279. I Wake to the Sound of Shouting,
      280. More Shouting
      281. Texts with Mandy
      282. I Can Read.
      283. This Is the First Time I’ve Gotten Mad in a Long Time.
      284. Memory: Riding the City Bus for the First Time
      285. Rituals
      286. When I Think of Punishment
      287. When I Pass the Place Where Me and Leah
      288. “Get in Loser We’re Going Shopping!”
      289. Ruth Wants to Buy Fruit.
      290. I Didn’t Even Know There Was a Farmers Market Here.
      291. “Let’s Try Again Before We Go to Work”
      292. The Bus Stop Isn’t Busy This Time of Day
      293. I Run
      294. I’ve Never Been a Fast Runner
      295. Memory: Third Grade
      296. Walking, I Pass
      297. I Know the Way to the Weight Room
      298. But That’s Not True.
      299. It’s Not Until I’m Leaving That Cipinko Catches Me
      300. I Try to Escape, but I Just End Up at Wildwood
      301. She Can Give Me This.
      302. Ruth Is Waiting on the Ground
      303. “Was It Always Like This?”
      304. “Not True.”
      305. I Sketch a Dozen Faces
      306. “How Did You Get So Good?”
      307. “Hurt People Hurt People.”
      308. When Megga Comes by at the End of the Shift
      309. Time Is Life
      310. Instead of Feeding It, I Text Mandy.
      311. “Say It Out Loud.”
      312. “I’m Watching Kyra Run the Balloon Pop”
      313. I’m So Ready for What I Imagine That I’m Taken Aback by What Actually Is:
      314. “I’m Sorry, I Swear to God”
      315. “Ariel, Please, Omg!”
      316. “It’s Not the Same.”
      317. “We Need to Try Again”
      318. This Time of Day
      319. Texts with Mandy
      320. Texts with Ruth and Rex
      321. My Dad Is Washing Dishes
      322. Texts with Mandy
      323. Long Text from Mandy
      324. If Riding the Bus
      325. But There Isn’t an Option.
      326. Texts with Ruth and Rex
      327. Jealousy
      328. I Am Prepared to Walk
      329. There Is Only One Person on the Bus Stop.
      330. The Bus’s Kneeling Feature Is Broken
      331. Rex’s Last Text
      332. It’s Not Hard at First.
      333. I Can’t Handle It.
      334. Megga Finds Me in the Break Triangle.
      335. “Normal Is a Trap”
      336. It’s the Kind of Speech My Sister Would Understand.
      337. Face After Face—
      338. I Wonder If Leah Has Ever Felt Wrong
      339. Sometimes I Feel Like Someone Signed
      340. This Crocodile Is a Bad Roommate.
      341. Handy Woman
      342. Rain Always Shuts Down the Park
      343. The Distance Between Me and My Body
      344. There Are So Many Ways to Have the Wrong Body
      345. Fine 5 Should Be Full
      346. “I Didn’t Go to My Cousin’s Funeral.”
      347. “It’s Not Your Fault.”
      348. “Sometimes I Feel Guilty When I Don’t Think About Her.”
      349. Memory: Abc Rug in Kindergarten
      350. Ruth: “I Know What I Feel”
      351. I’m Not a Movie Star
      352. When the Credits Roll
      353. Still Raining
      354. Train
      355. Mandy Is in Class but Texts Us a Picture of Her Notebook
      356. Voice Note from Mandy While She’s on Break: “Once Upon a Time There Was an Amygdala”
      357. Rex: “I’m Still Wondering”
      358. Promises
      359. Some Things Are Better Done Alone.
      360. A Girl Comes with Her Hands Full of Tickets
      361. Is This How It Starts?
      362. We Ride the Ferris Wheel on Break
      363. “My Parents Did the Bare Minimum”
      364. How Can a Girl Just Die?
      365. Felicia, I Never Knew
      366. Crocodile Lawyers
      367. If This Is Going to Work
      368. “Happy Is Just an Electric Occurrence,”
      369. Ruth Wants to Ride the Tilt-a-whirl
      370. This World
      371. In First Grade a Boy Pulled My Hair
      372. All I Want Is to Choose.
      373. Expose Yourself
      374. Texts with Ruth and Rex
      375. Invisible Castle
      376. Standing in the Hall Listening
      377. If You’re Listening, God,
      378. Hurt People
      379. Our Fathers Can’t Look in Our Eyes
      380. One Step Forward
      381. “Can You Draw Me Real?”
      382. I Ride a Giraffe
      383. It’s Midnight and I Could Be Sleeping
      384. When My Mother Sits at the Counter
      385. I Know I’m Not Meant to Be an Actor—
      386. It’s 2am and I’m on Rex’s Front Porch
      387. Ruth Shows Up at Sunrise with Donuts.
      388. There Are Still Things I Don’t Say
      389. “I Think We Should Try Again”
      390. Eventually I Leave Them on the Porch
      391. Like a Knife
      392. On the Way Home I Find the Chalk Again
      393. Texts with Mandy in the Morning
      394. I Have Four Hours Until I Need to Be at Work
      395. It’s Friday and I Have Somewhere to Be.
      396. It Is.
      397. I Didn’t Bring Clothes
      398. “You’re Going to Have to Start Slow”
      399. What a Strange Activity,
      400. Soon Megga’s Trailer Will Be Filled with Boxes
      401. I Tell Her More About OCD,
      402. “You Look Like You Just Got Out of the Pool,” She Says Then.
      403. “She’s Not Wrong”
      404. Carnival Girl
      405. So Much of Life Is About Threat
      406. I Draw Portraits
      407. The Girl with the Pink Hair Is Back
      408. Her Name Is Elisa.
      409. When Ruth Eats a Funnel Cake
      410. I Love Them
      411. Memory: Me and Leah
      412. Rex Has a Plan
      413. Ruth Is Quiet.
      414. An Hour Until Closing
      415. Ruth Dangles the Keys to the Loco Loco
      416. Across the Park, the Music
      417. The Keys Jingle Clear and Silver
      418. When I Turn the Key
      419. The Train Begins to Move
      420. The Train Climbs the First Hill
      421. Ariel Crashes a Train
      422. Somewhere in Wildwood a Child Has Won a Yellow Llama
      423. Note for Readers
      424. Acknowledgments
      425. Excerpt from Dear Medusa

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      Tags: Olivia A Cole, Ariel Crashes, Train